How To Tell Your Boyfriend
 |
Here
is our advice on how to deal with this difficult issue... |
Be sure you are
pregnant.
We can provide free pregnancy tests, confidential counseling and we have
a Crisis Pregnancy Hotline at 519.383.7115.
Don't
avoid him!
Your boyfriend (or the father of the baby) is probably one the
first people you thought of when you found out that you were pregnant but
you probably
have
a lot
of
emotions
surrounding
him. You may be angry with him, scared that he might leave you, or afraid
that he will push you into something that you don't want to do. All of
this is normal.
If you feel that he is prone to strong reactions then you may want to consider
sharing your situation with a trusted family friend family
member or one of our councellors who can help you best decide how to approach
him. This can help you reduce your anxiety and start you recieving the support
you need.
Where
and when?
It’s likely best to share the news of your pregnancy with
him when they are comfortable and in a good mood in a familiar place without
distractions.
What
will I say?
Start positive, affirm him and your relationship. Don't start
with "I have terrible news..." Don't beat around the bush, or try to make him
play games. Be straight with him and tell him that you have gotten
pregnant together.
Be aware that this news will likely be overwhelming. A pregnancy is life changing, not just for you but for him too.
How
will he react?
He may say nothing. This is common. Remember how you felt when you
first found out that you are pregnant. Don't missinterpert his silence,
just give him time to absorb it. It may even be a couple of days before
you can have a meaningful conversation about it.
He may offer his care and support. This is also common. Know that he may not yet comprehend the full extent of your needs and the responsiblity, but this reaction is a good sign.
He may ask "Are you sure it's mine?" This is of course insensitive but it's unfortunately it's a common reaction. This reaction is probably mostly a result of shock rather than a reflection on your relationship.
What
if he wants me to have an abortion?
The best plan of action here is to have a plan. Let him see that you
have spent time thinking about this and that there are options for
you and for him, that this isn't the end of the world. Ask for his
help and remind him that there is help for both of you.
What
if he rejects me or says he just can't handle this?
Recognize that he may be scared and unsure how to react. Don't let
his overwhelm you. Emotions may be high at this moment. Be calm and
speak with him calmly. He will likely calm down and react much differently
in time.
The
Pregnancy Centre can offer help to him as well as you. Our staff
can help him understand you and how he can better support you. We can
work together with both of you to find solutions in a warm non-threatening
atmosphere. You can reach us at 519.383.7115.
All
of our services are free and totally confidential.
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