How To Tell Your Parents
 |
Here
is our advice on how to deal with this difficult issue... |
Don't
Procrastinate!
It’s human nature to put off things that we are nervous about or that
cause us pain. You need to overcome this. Your pregnancy isn’t going
to go away because you ignore it. The earlier you tell your parents the better.
If your parent’s are prone to strong reaction then you may want to consider
sharing your situation with a trusted family friend or aunt or other family
member and asking them to be with you when you share your situation with them.
Where
and when?
It’s likely best to share the news of your pregnancy with
them when they are comfortable and in a good mood at home.
What
will I say?
Be aware that this news is likely to hurt them. This is going to be
a lifestyle change for them as well as for you. They may be concerned
about the financial, time, and social consequences of a new baby. You
will want to first share your love with them, and tell them that you
have some difficult news that you have been afraid to share with them.
Then be straight. Calmly tell them that you are pregnant and
then wait. Be aware that you may get a strong reaction. Don’t
defend yourself or try to argue with them, just let them vent their
feelings and listen
to what they have to say. When they have finished calmly tell them
that you have understood what they have said and tell them that you
are sorry for the impact that this unplanned pregnancy will have on
their lives. You may be surprised how this approach disarms your parents
and the respect that they will have for you later for being mature
in the way you have shared your situation with them.
Can I just use a letter?
The short answer is yes…but we don’t recommend it. If you
are concerned that your parents will be abusive then this may be the
best method but as mentioned before, taking along a trusted family
friend or relative (preferably someone your parents age rather than
yours) will achieve a moderating effect.
What if they want me to have an abortion?
The best plan of action here is to be prepared with a plan. Let them
see that you have thought this through and that you are determined
to keep your baby understanding that this is going to change your life
and be expensive but that you are willing to make these sacrifices.
Ask for their help in keeping the baby, this will help move them onto
your side. Remind them that the trauma of an abortion can have life
long consequences just as having a baby has life long consequences.
What if they want me to place my baby for adoption?
This may be a good option for you. Think this though before talking
to your parents. Be proactive about getting information about all of
your options. The Pregnancy Centre would be able to help you with referrals
and answers to your questions.
What if my parents freak out or say terrible things?!
Recognize that your parents may feel a sense of failure, that they
have somehow fallen down as parents. A few parents may even threaten
to throw you out or reject you. Most parents really do love their kids
no matter what. Recognize that this is an emotional time and that they
may overreact in some cases. Don’t let this overwhelm you, they
will likely calm down and reconsider. If they don’t, there is
help for you. You will find support from others that love you and The
Pregnancy Centre will help you find solutions to your problems, answers
to your questions and help with your pregnancy. Call us at 519.383.7115
we would love to talk.
Here are some of the services that we offer and some of the questions
we can answer:
- Free Pregnancy Tests
- Confidential Counseling
- Crisis Pregnancy Hotline
Here are some of the questions that we can help answer:
- What is abortion really all about?
- What are my alternative?
- What is adoptoin all about?
- What about my baby's father?
- Can I stay in school?
- What about work?
- Can I afford food and clothing for the baby?
- What if I drank or took drugs before I knew I was pregnant?
- What if I don't have a place to live?
All
of our services are free and totally confidential.
519.383.7115